Squibs, Potions, and Other Ridiculous Notions
by por2l
Summary: "So, if your mum's a muggle and your dad's a muggleborn, would the ministry still consider you a squib?" She screams when a mucus covered hand is swatted at her.


Tai Smithers was born without magic. If Tai had been born to the Jordans down the street, this would have been fine. If she had been born to the Langleys, the Jacobs, or even the strange Davids, this would have been fine. But Tai Smithers had not been born to them. She had been born to Amos Smithers, and being without magic had not even been a thought to the new father.

* * *

"She has your eyes," Amos fondly told his wife when he was finally allowed to hold his newborn. His firstborn. His little Tai.

Erica Smithers, the surprisingly accepting muggle wife of Amos, squinted at her child. Having given birth only a while ago, she was not particularly excited about everything. Not even her child (though she did feel that small twinge of maternal instinct her mom and mother-in-law had told her about). Her hair was a mess, and really she wanted to sleep a bit more. She clicked her tongue.

"Amos, I love you but you're lying out of your ass."

He seemed to only smile in response as he rocked their small child in his arms. Maybe he was lying, maybe not. The only thing truly on his mind was the future of his child.

By the time Tai was ten months old, her first word was wand. When she was able to walk, she would mimic her father's wand-waving and stances.

* * *

"Look, dear. She's copying you!" Erica had said with amusement one day to her husband. Watching her daughter hold a stick and pretend to be Amos was truly a sight to behold. Amos picked up his daughter, blowing into her chubby neck as she giggled uncontrollably.

"Curious little bugger, aren't you? I think that'll do you good in the future, when you become a witch," he said fondly as he swung Tai lightly in his hands.

"A witch!" she could only repeat in delight. Tai was only a little over one and was not too sure what witches were. She knew it made her daddy happy, though.

Being a muggleborn, Amos was not as well-versed on accidental magic as others might have been. He did not think much when his daughter threw a tantrum and all that resulted was her eyes growing puffy from crying. He did not think much when she grew too excited in a bakery and it didn't end in pastries on the walls, but rather sweet little treats.

* * *

When Tai was five she began to learn about potions.

"Love, don't you think she's a bit too young to be doing this?" Erica asked worryingly while she watched her daughter thoughtfully listen to her dad explain what he was doing. Erica was holding a wriggling toddler in her hands. Tai's brother, Alex, was four years younger than her, and liked to play witches with her. (She always called magic users "witches", even after being told male "witches" were actually wizards. She thought it was silly. Amos didn't really understand, but soon found it silly himself. Erica found the whole situation quite funny.)

"She's just listening, Erica. Besides, isn't this a good thing? A head start for when she goes to Hogwarts?" Amos carefully tapped his wand against the side of his cauldron, "And this is where the magic takes effect, Tai. This is the reason why muggles can't make potions themselves." Tai's eyes widened with delight as she watched the potion turn to a pretty gold color. Her hands were gently pushed away by her dad once she tried to reach into the cauldron.

"Mm," Erica frowned a bit as she watched her daughter stare, hands behind her back. A sigh escaped her, "As long as she isn't hurt. But Hogwarts? Babe, wouldn't she go to the, uh, American wizarding school? What was it called again?"

Amos' nose wrinkled, "Ilvermorny," his voice seemed to hold some sort of disdain, "No child of mine will be going to that bloody American school!" he dramatically seemed to declare as he pulled the potion off the flame.

"Ilvermorny's a silly name. Sounds icky," Tai said with a wrinkle of her nose. Amos seemed to cheer.

Erica clicked her tongue, "I'm American, and I hope you realize that comment has you cooking tonight. But it does sound icky, doesn't it Tai?" A sly sort of smile played on her lips as she lifted the child in her hands and kissed his forehead, "C'mon Alex, let's go before your father decides to hex me." She walked out of the room, child in arms.

"Well," there was a pause as Amos exchanged looks with Tai, "at least I still have you and Hogwarts."

Tai sported a thoughtful look before speaking again, "Hogwarts sounds dumb, too." There was a pause before she nodded and jumped off the stool.

Amos found himself in a depressed state and cooking for a week straight.

* * *

When the family moved to England, Tai was seven. There was a bit of a culture shock, but Tai was also seven so it didn't really last long. Or affect her too much. Amos was quick to get his family into British wizard affairs, as well as reconnect with old friends. Showing off how knowledgeable on potion making Tai was made him smug. He was very proud of his daughter, and when she showed interest in magic and Hogwarts, he was more than willing to answer her questions.

When Tai asked him who the Dark Lord was, he froze.

"What?" maybe he hadn't heard her right and she was asking for a dart board.

"Dark Lord, Daddy. Mal was talking bout how her daddy was gonna help take down the Dark Lord." Her brown eyes, so like Amos' own, stared innocently up at him. (Amos would never admit to his wife that she shared his own eyes.) He grabbed her and pulled her into his lap.

"The Dark Lord is... well, he's a bad man Tai," he started off slow and careful.

"Like Uncle Jack?"

Amos snorted a bit at that.

"Not exactly. And your Uncle Jack is not that bad."

She gave him a suspicious look that said "I don't really believe you."

"Did your mum say something about my brother?" his brow raised. She kept her mouth shut. He continued, "I'll have to talk to your mum later on. Gossiping about my brother with my daughter... Good God what has the world come to? But we're getting a bit off topic, aren't we? Yes, my brother is not the best, but the Dark Lord is a... different type of bad. He..." Amos waved his hands as he attempted to think a way to best explain, "You know how I've always told you it's not nice to hit other people? Even if they've wronged you?"

She nodded her head, "Even Sticky Ricky who won't stop getting his stupid sticky hands on my crayons." He chuckled at that, "Language, Tai."

Amos cleared his throat before he continued, "Well, the Dark Lord hurts other people without proper reason. I mean, there is a reason it's just not a very good one." The way her brows furrowed told him he wasn't explaining this too well.

"Tai, you remember how mum and your grandparents can't do magic?" she nodded, "Well, the Dark Lord is a man who doesn't like people who can't do magic. Or those who can do magic but whose parents can't. So he... hurts them."

"That's dumb," she stated.

Amos nodded, "It is, isn't it?"

They spent the rest of the time contemplating. Amos grimly thought of the future his children would face. Tai though of how much she did not like Sticky Ricky.

* * *

Remalda Reggis is the first child that Tai meets that is neither muggle nor American. Remalda Reggis is a mouthful of a name, so she goes by "Mal". There were many things Tai discovered within the first hour of meeting Mal.

1\. Mal has been showing magical ability since the young age of four.

2\. Mal doesn't understand what a "big ego" is. She does understand that Tai was being rude.

3\. Mal was not beneath violence.

4\. Tai was also not beneath violence.

5\. Mal's middle name is Josephine.

6\. Tai's middle name is Erin.

Erica discovered that even witches have no good way to tear two seven year olds apart from each other.

Amos discovered that there's a whole branch of wizarding government focusing on muggle artifacts.

Alex discovered that he could fit peanuts up his nose.

It was a very educational day for the Smithers Family, and Tai left the Reggis Home with one friend more than before.

* * *

"Hey, what's a squib?" there's curiosity in young Tai's voice when she tossed the ball to Ken.

"You know how muggles sometimes have a magical kid?" Ken asked before tossing the ball to Mal. Kennedy Smith, better known as Ken, was Tai's second non-American non-muggle friend. His parents were half-bloods.

"Yeah, that's what my dad is. Calls himself a muggle-born or something."

Mal tossed the ball to Laurence. Laurence Patsy was Tai's third non-American non-muggle friend. She was a pureblood.

"Well squibs are like that. But reversed I guess."

Laurence does not succeed in catching the ball, and is met with jeering remarks from her peers.

"My brother can catch better than you!" "Oh, good catch that was!" "You eat butter before coming here?"

She threw the ball at Tai. _Hard_. A sort of grunt escaped Tai once she caught it. Her palms stung, "Yeah, I deserved that. But what do you mean reversed? Like magical parents having a non-magical kid?"

The cycle repeated when Tai tossed the ball to Ken.

"I mean, more or less. Talking about squibs seems almost taboo among Wizards," Mal answered with a shrug. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. Heard it a few times and wanted to know what it meant."

Tai didn't tell them those few times she had heard it had all been directed at her.

* * *

"Daddy, you cannot forget the dittany again," Tai said, holding up a bowl of dried powder.

"Oh, you're right. Pour it in for me, would you? And remember, a little at a time. Wait for me to stir it once after each time before adding more."

Tai nodded and carefully began to add the dittany to the cauldron.

This was not an uncommon sight. Amos making a potion with the help of Tai, that was. He was not a potioneer, but rather just... enjoyed the process. Much like how he enjoyed cooking (another shared activity with Tai). Helped relieve stress accumulated, or even just clear his mind. The problem was that he did tend to forget certain ingredients. Sometimes it wasn't immediately noticeable, like when he was making "Feel Good Chocolate" and had forgotten the alihotsy. They had tasted alright, it just didn't leave one with the light-hearted affects Amos had hoped it would. Sometimes it was more immediate, like when he had forgotten to add bursting mushrooms to a potion. He couldn't even remember what the potion was, just that the cauldron had boiled over.

Since the young age she had started showing interest in potions making, Tai had been the rather adamant and unofficial apprentice of Amos. Her inquisitive mind and general curiosity on potions and their ingredients made her an excellent student. Even without a wand, Tai had learned. She learned the best style of cutting ingredients. She learned that potions weren't actually too picky in regards to ingredients. That sometimes neutral ingredients can be added to make it easier to swallow.

Amos had been delighted to say the least, encouraging her to peruse the subject and getting her informational books on them. He didn't think it unsafe to have her around a cauldron. She was smart, and having already burnt herself once before, Tai tended to be less careless around them.

"Now, Tai, what are the effects of dittany?" Amos asked of her once she got the last of it in.

"Medicinal! Dittany can be used to heal surface scrapes and wounds."

"Very good. And why do we use it in potions?"

"To strengthen its abilities."

"Excellent. Well, it'll be quite a while before this will be done. Anything interesting happen recently?"

"Oh my God, daddy you won't believe what Mal told me happened at the bank recently..."

* * *

Tai's 11 when her dad walks into the house with the ugliest cat she had ever seen.

Before the arrival of the duo, Erica had been reading. Tai had been reading. Hell, Alex had been spending his time looking at picture books. But when Amos walked in holding that cat, everyone looked up.

Erica reacted first, "Tai, get your brother's ears." Tai, used to doing this, jumped from her spot and dives to cover her brother's ears.

"What the hell is that, Amos?" It's not uncommon for Erica to curse. Before marriage, Erica had quite the colorful mouth. After marriage, Erica had quite the colorful mouth. After kids, Erica had significantly lessened her colorful mouth. Clearly not fully, as Tai had become accustomed to cover her brother's ears from hearing the crude words.

"Groceries," Amos replied with a straight face. The bags were placed on the coffee table. The cat jumped onto the table and sat beside the groceries.

"Amos I swear to God-" Erica was cut off.

"It's a cat, love. Half-Kneazle if you would believe it! The shopkeeper said they were going to, uh..." his eyes darted to look at Tai looking curiously at the cat. Alex seemed more focused on his book, ears still covered.

"Illkay her if she wasn't going to be sold soon. Look at her face, Erica! You can't say no to a face as cute as that! Plus, Tai will need a cat for Hogwarts anyways." The creature purred when Amos leaned down to pet it.

Tai's eyes darted from her dad to the creature, "Daddy, you know I know Pig Latin, right?"

She's ignored.

"Christ Amos, I thought we were going to wait to get her a pet when she got her letter," Erica is more irritated than anything. Not that Amos had bought the cat, rather that he had bought the cat without consulting her on the matter. An animal seemed a rather important decision. Especially when the two had formerly agreed on getting one when Tai had received her Hogwarts letter.

"I-" Tai suddenly exclaimed. Her loud voice caused Amos and Erica pause. They found their eldest petting the not-entirely-cat cat, "like the cat. Thank you daddy."

Erica sighed.

Amos smiled at Tai, "Thought you might. Her name's Nova. And I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, Erica." He leaned his face close to his wife's, "I love you." Her lips screwed up a bit, and her head turned opposite of his. "I love you," he repeated, grinning a bit as he knew his wife was struggling to keep a straight face.

"I love you too..." her voice is muttered as she refuses to look back at him.

He only grinned before he placed a kiss atop Erica's head and stood back up, "Well then. Tai! Your mum's not going to get out of this anytime soon. How do you feel about helping me cook supper?"

Nova the not-entirely-cat cat found herself sleeping at the foot of Tai's bed that night.

(The next day, when Nova curled up on Erica's lap, Amos had to hold back from teasing his wife.)

* * *

The last few days of July, Tai had found herself in a pattern. Waking. Looking out. Eating. Looking out. Reading. Looking out. Sleeping. Dreaming. Waking.

Her mom says it's not healthy. To just sit around all day. On day three of this routine, Tai finds herself being made to walk outside. It's not too bad. She can't help but look out for owls.

When she returned from her walk, she immediately goes to her mom, "Anything?" There's no need to expand. Everyone in the house knew what she asked of.

"Nothing yet sweetheart, sorry." A frown formed on Tai's face.

"Didn't the Reggis's return from their vacation recently? Why don't you have Mal stay the night, before school starts?" Erica liked to think she knew her daughter pretty well. Getting her mind off the letter with the promise of a sleepover seemed a smart move.

It was.

"Really?" Tai's voice holds excitement as she looks at her mom.

"Yes "really". I can give a call to Mrs. Jane and see if we can work something out soon. Possibly even tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Yes ma'am. Do you think we could get some butterbeer?"

Erica smiled at her daughter. Tai instantly regretted the question. "Don't push your luck, honey."

"Right. Sorry mom. I'm going to go to my room. Tell me if my letter comes!" she shouted over her shoulder as she left her mom.

Erica's tongue clicked.

"Silly girl. Of course I will!"

Tai's head popped from the doorway as she stuck her tongue out at her mom. She had to quickly dodge the grape that was thrown her way.

Tai fell asleep that night to thoughts of magic and Hogwarts and spending time with Mal.

She did her best to shake the voice in her head that told her something wasn't right.

* * *

Author Notes:

This is absolutely a self indulgent fanfiction for a self-insert oc.

It is absolutely a mess.

I am still proud of it.

Thank you for reading.


End file.
